


jails and bails

by iridescentwinters



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany), SKAM (France), SKAM (Italy), SKAM (Norway), SKAM Austin
Genre: F/M, Skam Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 19:12:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15149954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iridescentwinters/pseuds/iridescentwinters
Summary: noora is at an art gallery in berlin to write a review about it for her magazine company, artchives. there, she meets four other girls, and a night-out with them gets a little out of hand....





	1. artchives

**Author's Note:**

> — skam noorhelm+remakes crossover
> 
> — part one of the three-part series “jails and bails”

noora was staring at a particular painting for a very long time.

she was sent to an art gallery which had recently opened in berlin, germany, to take a look at it and write down a review on it for _artchives_ , a magazine publishing company which revolves around every kind of art form; singing, dancing, visual arts. noora worked in the visual arts department, where she had to cover studio works, art galleries and shows. she usually stuck to home for all of that, obviously because she worked for the norwegian branch, but this art gallery seemed to have been gaining a lot of popularity worldwide, and three other _artchives_ branches were covering it as well, which was why her office had sent her over.

she could tell why this particular gallery was getting so much attention. starting right from the entrance, it felt as though it was telling a story. noora walked through the gallery, and was shocked to not see, but _feel_ the paintings. the chapter it told, part of the story it told.

the last painting was a heart. the left ventricle was black, while the right ventricle was pink. they fused together, and all the veins and arteries were twisted around it, creating a different colour. it definitely wasn’t the colour which was created when pink and black were mixed together, but it was as on purpose. the colour was sort of getting to that dark purple stage.

noora couldn’t tear her eyes away from it. it was just something about this painting, in fact, all of them, that had her pulled in.

“trying to decode this painting?”

noora snapped back into reality by a soft, calm and quiet voice. she turned around, only to be facing a girl, maybe two or three years younger than her. her cheeky smile gave her identity away to noora.

“you, my friend,” the older woman said, looking back and pointing at the painting, “are a genius. this entire gallery… i’ve never seen anything like it, really.” she did a quick scan of the girl. “you’re really 24?”

the artist shrugged. “some people think i’m 17.” she joked. “but yes, i am.” she extended her hand out to noora, who took it gladly. “i’m mia.”

“noora. nice to meet you.” she introduced herself. “i was actually scheduled to have an interview with you tomorrow, but-“

“oh, you’re here with  _artchives_?” mia intervened with her eyes wide open. when noora nodded, she grinned even wider. “oh my god, i’m trying not to fangirl, but i’ve been reading and collecting bits and pieces from _artchives_ ’ magazines since i was a pre-teen. now being interviewed by their international branches? so cool.”

noora grinned. “i was a total geeky fan for them too.” she admitted. “it’s been a dream to work with them.”

“guess all of us have that in common, then.”

a third voice interrupted, and noora and mia turned around, and three other ladies, about the same age as mia, looked right back at them. the one who spoke stepped forward with her hand extended. “ _ciao_ , i’m eleonora. ele for short.” she introduced herself, “i’m the represent for _artchives_ rome.”

“hi,” the girl on eleonora’s right then greeted, shaking the two’s hands, “i’m grace. _artchives_ new york.”

the last girl introduced herself right after grace. “ _salut_ , manon. for _artchives_ paris.”

noora smiled. “noora, _artchives_ norway.” she introduced, before gesturing towards mia. “and we all know this lovely lady. mia winter.”

mia blushed as the other girls clapped for her. manon took a step forward, being at the same position as noora and mia, and looked at the painting in front of them. “i swear, i had to force myself away from this painting.”

“as did i.” ele admitted. “it’s something about this whole gallery that’s making me feel so…”

“related to?” mia asked. ele slowly nodded, as if she was still in the process of putting the pieces together.

“i actually do have a slight theory, though.” grace smirked, as she held up her notebook. “but i wanted to listen to your story first, before telling you it, to see if i’m right.”

“i have a few ideas in mind as well.” noora admitted, patting her sling-bag.

manon and ele looked at each other, before manon spoke up. “we were actually discussing our own speculations, too.” she said. “it’s as if we all somehow related to it, and have our own storylines.” she laughed. “it’d be a coincidence if we did, though…”

mia’s face all of a sudden brightened by a million bulbs. “hey, who said anything about just talking tomorrow?” she asked, before looking down at her digital watch. “it’s 9:04PM, and i close in 20. i hope you ladies are up for a little hang-out at the bar across the street.”


	2. louvre quartet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> noora is at an art gallery in berlin to write a review about it for her magazine company, artchives. there, she meets four other girls, and a night-out with them gets a little out of hand....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> — skam noorhelm+remakes crossover
> 
> — part two of the three-part series “jails and bails”

_the louvre quartet_ , it was called.

well, it certainly was like the louvre, with all the mural art and a couple of paintings…. minus the creepy staring, ladies who were dancing on the table tops, and the loud music.

oh, and the neon lights.

mia and ele returned with all of their orders. turns out that all of them were pretty light drinkers. luckily, the bar also offered nachos, which ele ordered immediately.

“well, i apologise for not paying for the drinks, but at least the nachos are on me.” she joked, making the other girls laugh. they had chosen a booth on the quieter side of the bar, so that they could at least hear each other while they spoke.

“so, mia,” manon said, a smirk on her face. “get on with the story now!”

mia took a sip of her martini, before tapping her fingers together in a playful manner. “well…” she started, “you guys promise not to laugh. i swear it’s not a made-up soap opera.”

“oh trust me,” grace said, “i’m the last person to judge that.” the other girls seemingly agreed with her.

“okay. so,” she took a breath before starting. “basically, all of you were right. it was a story, in a way. my story.” she paused, before continuing. “the story of how i fell in love with my boyf-fiancé.” she flashed a beautiful diamond ring. the girls ‘aww’ed immediately, complimenting the ring. mia blushed once more, before continuing the story.

“alex was a total douche. like, the most obnoxious and arrogant person you could find. he was also a major fuckboy.” mia rolled her eyes. “a complete hard-ass, and still is, really.”

“my friend kiki was infatuated with him, and he took advantage of that. you know, slept with her. but the next thing you know, he dumped her, even though she said it had gone really well, that he was unbelievably sweet. and well, i couldn’t see her so distressed, so i told her to stand up to him and tell him to straighten his ass out if he really wanted her. but that… kinda backfired.” she winced. “he called her worthless, said she wasn’t good enough. and that was it for me. so i went up to him, and lectured his ass.” she chuckled. “i asked him if he still wet the bed.”

the girls laughed, saying ‘ooo!’. mia grinned. “anyway, i thought that was it. that alex would just stay away from kiki and maybe get his shit together. but nope! he somehow found my name, class, schedule, _and_ phone number.” she snorted. “it was ridiculous! he started texting me, and asking me out. even after i pretended not to know his name. oh, and threatened to report him for harassment. somehow, the more i resisted him, the more he wanted me.” she blushed, as she said the next few words. “he, um… he said i was beautiful. it was such a plain compliment, but somehow, i don’t know…” she scratched the back of her neck sheepishly, “i felt so…”

“shocked? surprised? shy?” noora offered, smiling. she knew how mia felt. she’s felt it _herself_.

“exactly. but i wanted to test him, see how far his limits were, and since i’m bi, i kissed my best friend hanna.” she laughed, recalling the memory. “his reaction wasn’t sexual, but it sure was priceless. but he didn’t stop chasing even then.”

“the next few weeks of school after summer were just us playing a cat-and-mice game. i ran, tested him, while he chased tirelessly. obviously, at this point i started falling for him. but i was scared of my own feelings.” she paused, before continuing. “so i pushed him away, called him manipulative and shit. right before kissing him.”

“the two weeks after that were a little rocky, but pure bliss. i started falling into the love tunnel. it felt as if i couldn’t start anything without him anymore. until, you know, he smashed a bottle on a guy’s head and started beating him up like there was no tomorrow. i was worried that the guy wouldn’t even make it. we had a huge fight, and i told him i needed space.

in that time, i told kiki, and my other best friend, amira, advised me on what to do. and she told me to go for alex. i loved him, and needed to understand his side of the story. and i did go look for him.”

mia took a short pause after that, taking a few sips of her drink. noora held her hand, knowing that it was going to get dark.

mia swallowed a small lump. “i-i went to his apartment, and his brother was there, throwing a party. he then invited me in, and told me utter shit about alex, his own brother. which were all untrue, in the end. but i believed him. i chose to believe this asshole, over the love of my life. so i drank. i drank my ass off. i can’t remember what, but they sure as hell were strong. because i couldn’t remember what happened after that.” she paused, before saying, “i still don’t. i mean, i _know_ what happened, but it didn't resurface any memories.”

the girls were still quiet, taking in mia’s story. the blonde cleared her throat, before moving on. “i-i woke up on alex’s bed, naked, with his brother right next to me.”

_just like me_ , the girls simultaneously thought.

“i felt sick to my stomach. and i was ready to just die, because i didn’t know what happened, or what i did. who i did. and this guy… he seemed all nice, made me think that nothing major happened, until he sent me photos of myself that night, completely naked."

"and i lost it. i became hysterical, driven in fear, guilt. i couldn’t even look at alex, until he forced me to. and looking at him…. it made me feel better.” she admitted, playing with her ring. “it always does. he was so kind, so reassuring. i had an essay to submit for the school’s newspaper, and i couldn’t write it at all, but he did. and it was _beautiful_. he made me _sane_ again. and then i knew what i had to do.

after confiding in my friends and a trip to the hospital, i met that son of a bitch again. i recited everything the counsellor had told me; every crime he committed, every law he broke. and i recorded our conversation, where he admitted to threatening me with leaking my photos.

that bastard went quiet, but was loud enough to let alex know everything. he even sent the photos to him. and he…” mia gulped. “i-i almost lost him. he broke down, and apparently smashed a water cooler, according to his best friend, my really good friend, sam. he made the decision to move to london, to leave berlin, me, forever. but he stayed. i got him to stay. for me.”

mia took a deep breath, and exhaled. “and yeah, one thing led to another afterwards. i reported his brother, he turned himself in, served jail time for two weeks, and served at a community club, where his supervisor expunged his criminal record, which was just the bottle-smashing. we moved in together, then ta-da!” she grinned, while tears were brimming up her eyes. “we’re getting married next year.”

the girls simultaneously went around mia, and sandwiched her into a group hug. not out of sympathy, but empathy. they related- knew how she felt. what she went through. and from that group hug, mia knew that too.

“i swear i don’t usually cry,” she joked, “it was just that part of the story- wait, are all of you crying too?”

true enough, all of them had tears in their eyes as well. maybe by mia’s storytelling, they were reliving their own stories. their own pasts, their own love stories.

noora wiped away a tear. “noo,” she dragged, “it’s just the smoke in this damn place, i swear-“

“damn! five hot and sexy women, all in one place? that’s like, my biggest fucking fantasy!”

all 5 heads snap up immediately, only to be facing some sleazy man who looked like he was in his mid-30s. he had a suit on, but the top button was unbuttoned and his tie was loosened. his ’sexy smirk' was probably the creepiest thing all of the girls had ever seen.

ele cocked her head to the left, clearly unimpressed. “how about you go find some other people willing to help your needs out?” she asked. manon snorted. “yeah, and good luck with _that_.” she gave the man an obvious up-down, disgusted. the girls laughed.

the man’s smile started to fade into a sneer. “all you sluts are the same. going for rich, handsome bitches. they obviously can’t give y’all a good time like i can.” he paused, before continuing with a disgusting grin on his face. “ a good fucking whack and pressure could make y’all good. always does."

the word 'slut’ and ‘whack’ made all of the girls stand up, and make their ways towards the idiot. manon pushed the guy, making him stumble a little. “you wanna say that to me again, little shit?” she snarled. before the man could say anything, ele had thrown a punch, making him fall on the floor, and the girls really unleashed their anger on this guy. anger not only made by the small male portion who had the same thoughts as this one, and at the boys who had done them wrong in the past. it was a throw-around of vengeance.

it was a miracle that the bartenders had dashed in to stop them a few minutes later, and the manager had called an ambulance, or else the man would’ve stopped breathing all together.

oh, and someone else had also called the police. it was a friend of the man’s.

mia raised her middle finger at the dude, before she was cuffed away, along with her new friends.

 


	3. equivalents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> noora is at an art gallery in berlin to write a review about it for her magazine company, artchives. there, she meets four other girls, and a night-out with them gets a little out of hand....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> — skam noorhelm+remakes crossover
> 
> — part three of the three-part series “jails and bails”

grace returned into their temporary jail cell, and took a seat between ele and mia.

“called my boyfriend.” she muttered, “he’s gonna be here in 30.”

mia took her hand. “everything okay?” she asked, worried. “is it money? alex is coming and-“

“no, no, not that,” grace reassured, “it’s just that… he was having dinner with his mom and her new boyfriend.” she gently thumped her head against the wall. “i feel so bad. ugh,” she cringed, “imagine what he told her! _hey, my girlfriend’s in jail so i gotta go bail her out_.”

ele couldn’t help but let out a snort, but when grace started to laugh, the rest of them started to join in. they truly had no idea why, but they just felt like it. if all of them were being honest, they felt a lot better kicking around the sleaze.

a police man arrived in front of their cell, and mia went up to him, obviously because she was the only one who spoke german. he said a few things and pointed back at the girls, and she nodded, before thanking him and making her way back to the girls. she had a grin on her face.

“what’s up?” grace asked, as soon as mia sat down. “apparently, we broke our glasses and kind of made a mess at the bar, but the good news is, they won’t be pressing charges. actually, a lot of the bartenders who work there said that they wanted charges against the dude. he’s been a douche harassing a lot of the lady bartenders, workers and the visitors. they’re calling us heroes, basically.” she chuckled.

manon let out a ‘whoop!’. “we did it, ladies.” she grinned. “even only knowing each other for just a few hours, we managed to knock a sexist asshole out.”

the girls high-fives each other. “anything else?” ele asked. “mm, yeah,” mia started, “they just want our statements before we go.” ele grinned. “oh, that asshole won’t even have a chance of escaping.” she said, cracking her knuckles.

“thank God my husband came with me,” noora said, “or else i wouldn’t have known how else to get out of here. i don’t like to carry around a lot of money.”

“neither do i,” manon said. “charles usually handles all of that. and the passports.” she grinned sheepishly. “i’m prone to losing things.”

“same here, sister.” grace said, before smirking. “and ooo, _charles_ huh? sounds like he’s some french prince or something.”

manon snorted. “just the french equivalent to mia’s alex.” she nudged her head over at mia. “aw,” grace suddenly noticed a ring on manon’s finger, “is that from him?”

manon looked down at it, before nodding shyly. “yeah, we got engaged 3 months back. he’s kinda like a puppy, though.” she rolled her eyes. “he follows me everywhere i go. but this time, i’m glad he did. but if only i could get him to stop trying to spend so much money on petty things….”

ele scoffed. “my boyfriend’s the king of petty and money-spending, trust me.” she said. “edoardo refuses to eat nothing but over $18 ice cream. $18!” she exclaimed, exasperated. the girls wheezed from their laughter. all of their men were extremely spoilt in a funny way.

“what about your other half, grace?” noora asked. “what’s he like?”

grace rolled her eyes. “think about any cliché guy character from a cheesy american love story or movie, and there you go!” she exclaimed sarcastically. “that’s daniel. he was the football team’s captain of my high school. a total spoilt brat and asshole. it’s really a wonder how i fell for him.” as she said that, a smile was unconsciously spread on her face.

the girls smiled as well. “guess we’re prone to charming assholes.” noora said. “hey, i married one, you guys will be too. this shit is forever.” she joked.

but obviously deep down inside, they wouldn’t want it any other way.

 

* * *

  
  
william entered the police station, which was a few miles away from the hotel he and noora were staying at.

“er, hi,” he greeted the police man behind the counter. “i’m here to bail someone out.”

“may i know their name, sir?” the police man asked. william nodded. “noora sætre.” he said. the man didn’t even need to go through his computer. “she’s currently in questioning right now, sir. you can pay right now and then have a seat behind you.”

william’s eyes widened. “ _questioning_?” he asked in disbelief. “is she okay? what did she even do?” noora hadn’t explained anything to him, only told him that she got herself in jail and needed him to bail her out.

the police man cracked a small smile. “don’t worry about it. nothing major. in fact, it’s just taking a statement, that’s all. and i’ll leave the story to her.” he said, which made william relax a little. “okay, then. thank you.” he thanked, and paid the bail before making his way over to the row of chairs the police man had directed him to.

there were 4 other men sitting there, waiting slightly impatiently. william guessed that they must’ve gotten here a lot earlier, and still hadn’t managed to do what they had come for.

the chair in the middle was empty, and he helped him to it. after a few minutes in awkward silence, he finally decided to break it. “you guys here to bail someone out? a friend?” he asked, in a slight joking manner.

the boy on his right broke into a smile. “try fiancée.” he said. “and i still don’t know what happened. one moment she’s at her art gallery, telling me she’ll be out with some friends she made, the next thing i knew, i was receiving a call from her. from jail.” he recounted his past hour. “oh, and i’m alex, by the way.” 

he extended his hand out to william, who shook it. “william. and hey, that’s basically what happened to me as well. my wife noora’s here on a business trip, and she was at an art gallery to go report on it, and then bam! in jail.”

“your lady as well?” the man on william’s left piped up. “my girlfriend works at-"

“ _artchives_?” the last two men finished simultaneously. the one on alex’s right extended his hand out for all of the boys. “charles. charmed to meet you.”

“i’m daniel.” the other man introduced. “edoardo. pleased to meet you.” the man on daniel’s left said.

“well, you guys clearly aren’t from around here, especially you with the american accent.” alex pointed at daniel, who raised his hands in surrender. 

“dead-on. i’m from new york, but born and raised texas.” he explained.

“ah,” charles said, “explains the texan accent. i’m from france.”

“rome, italy.” edo then said.

“norway.” william said. “and i have a feeling our girls got arrested all together.”

alex snorted. “let me ask you guys something.” he said. “do your girlfriends-wife,” he gestured towards william, “pick on fights at every chance they get? will do and say whatever it takes to make them right?”

“absolutely.”

“a 100%.”

“no doubt.”

“is that even a question?”

alex did jazz-hands. “ta-da!” he exclaimed sarcastically. “that’s how we’ve ended up here. our psychos have found each other.” he paused, before continuing. “my girl mia’s the artist of the gallery.” he explained, pride shining clear in his voice.

“naw, that’s cool man,” edo said, “she’s really talented. ele kept sending me photos every step she took.” he said, with a grin.

“as did manon. she’s crazy about art.” charles shook her head, but with a glowing smile on his face.

“i met my noora in high school. i fell in love with her the moment she stood up to me. no, _roasted_ my ass.” william admitted. “and i’ve been crazy about her ever since.”

“you too?” the rest of them exclaimed, which gained some weird looks from the others, as well as the police man standing outside the waiting room. they slowly reclined back to their seats.

“i noticed mia around, and was ready to just tap that ass,” alex admitted, “but then when she started insulting me, asking me if my mom never cuddled me enough or if i still wet the bed, i felt like i met an angel. a woman.”

“grace insulted me in front of my entire football team.” daniel started with a sheepish grin. “at first i thought it was some kind of intimidation trick, until she hit a sensitive nerve.” he paused, before admitting it. “my daddy issues.”

“mine too.” edo admitted. “but if i’m being honest, i couldn’t hear half the things eleonora was saying. i was too focused on her face. i was like…” he imitated an explosion with his hands, over his head. “mind blown. how is one woman _that_ beautiful?” he asked, before continuing. “oh, and she-“

“-said that your pubes didn’t grow as fast as the others, so you got bullied for it?” charles interrupted with edo’s exact words. when he nodded, charles grinned. “manon surprised the hell out of me. i was used to being the boss, with no questions being asked. i didn’t give a shit about anyone but myself and my basketball team, until she came along.” he ran his fingers through his hair. “i don’t know what i would’ve been right now, if i hadn’t met her.”

“it’s a scary thought, isn’t it?” william asked. charles nodded. 

“probably would’ve still been a piece of shit.” edo admitted, and the rest of the boys agreed with him. the five of them had gone silent for a little, before william asked them another question. or more like, stated it like it was some sort of trivial game.

“okay, nicknames. go.” he pointed at charles.

“charles-henri.”

“axel.”

“donald.”

“eduardo.”

william sighed. “wilhelm. she still calls me that when she’s pissed at me. which is, you know….”

“every 2 days?” daniel guessed, and william nodded.

“damn,” alex muttered, “it’s like our girlfriends are each other’s international equivalents.” the rest of them agreed immediately with them.

“does that make us equivalents too?” daniel asked with a half-kidding smile. “i mean, if y’all can relate to my troubled youth….”

“try me.” edo challenged with a small smirk.

alex snorted. “you don’t even wanna know my family and its history.”

“there is no way in Hell you’d survive _my_ family.” charles muttered.

william rolled his eyes. “try an asshole prick of a brother.” he stated. the others tensed up at his words.

“ignorant piece of shit of a father?” charles asked. the others stayed quiet.

“lying, cheating and stealing bitches for mothers?” daniel muttered. still no protests.

“nannies your entire life? gossiping ones, at that, so you basically had to learn about your family through others?” edo asked. he received nods.

“dead little sisters?” alex asked quietly. and in that moment, all of the boys had gone stereo-quiet. like they had nothing else to say. it was also shocking that 5 strangers had led almost the exact same lives. they hadn’t felt so understood before.

“i was actually glad that grace called.” daniel admitted. “i was having dinner with my mom and her new playtoy. i needed a way to get out anyway.” he tried for a smile, as did the others.

“man,” edo said, “forget the girls being each other from different countries. _we’re_ each other from different countries."

the others couldn’t have agreed more.

“william!”

william looked up, and saw his wife grinning, and waving at him. she was with four other girls, who were already making their way towards their partners.

alex engulfed mia into a big hug. “what have you done, you little troublemaker?” he teased.

“ugh. i’ll answered that.” ele said, as she detached her head from edo’s neck. 

“so, your _amazing_ girlfriend brought us to this bar and told us the story behind her _crazy_ gallery. which,” she looked at edo, “you have to go to.” she then looked back at alex. “and this fucking sexist, living in the 1900s moron comes up to us and says idiotic shit to us. and we got pissed and jumped him. the end.”

charles’ eyebrows raised alarmingly. “idiotic shit?” he repeated, before looking at manon. “what did he say? did he try to hurt any of you? did he-“

“calm down, dad,” manon joked, stroking his cheek. “he just said something a horny 12 year old would say, and then said some interesting ideas as to how to make us behave.”

daniel scowled. “that fucker should be thankful that i- _we_ weren’t there.” he corrected himself as he spoke.

grace raised an eyebrow in amusement. “we?” she asked with a grin.

edo looked over at the boys. “let’s just say that we bonded while you girls were in there.” he said.

noora smiled. “we knew that’d happen.” she said.

“and now you guys can still continue to bond tomorrow,” mia said, “since i have an interview with all of these ladies scheduled at my office. and you're all invited.” she said with a grin.

“hell yeah!” daniel exclaimed. the group were now heading out the doors of the station. “that means i get more time to complain about grace!”

grace gasped, and whacked his arm. “excuse me? try me trying to live with _you_!” she huffed.

“it’s okay to be unbearable grace,” edo joked, “you have ele to relate to.”

“and mia.” alex added.

“oh, definitely manon.” charles said.

“hey!”

“you better take that back, axel!”

“i just went to jail and will not hesitate to go back again!”

as the other couples argued, noora and william walked a little behind them. they watched their new friends with smiles.

noora looked at william. “it’s as if they’re us, just with different names and nationalities.” the blonde said.

“it kinda feels like a family.” william confessed. “it’s something about all of them that make me-“

“-want to have kids asap?”

william nodded with a grin. noora smiled. “i’ll see what i can do about that.” she placed her arm around her husband’s waist. “but for now…. you’re definitely the most annoying one out of all of the boys.”

“then you’d have to be the most unbearable one.” william said with a grin. he paused for a moment, before continuing.

“besides, they’re all younger than us by two or three years. we’re probably the original king and queen of opposites attracting."

 


End file.
